


Once Through Everything (And Then Away Again)

by Vanterelanes



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Baekyeol are only friends in this, Did I say angst?, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I need to make better life choices, Implied/Referenced Suicide, In other words this is depressing, No one actually dies in this, Spring Awakening AU, Why Did I Write This?, everyone is sad and no one is happy, had to capitalize it to emphasize the angstyness, i actually meant ANGST, it is heavily implied tho, its 3am rn, now how on earth did i manage to do that?, that was not the original plan, trust me it was an accident, why am I awake?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 08:36:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11894007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanterelanes/pseuds/Vanterelanes
Summary: “Alright then…I guess I’ll see you some other time then?" Baekyun says with hope he himself knows is false. Chanyeol smiles sadly at him and the shorter boy falters before starting on his way home alone. He barely makes it past the Oak tree before he, without turning around, calls out to chanyeol a final time.“Chanyeol, why were you really out here tonight?”





	Once Through Everything (And Then Away Again)

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo...this is the result of me listening to the soundtrack of the play spring awakening on repeat for several days combined with a lack of sleep. This fic was mostly inspired by the songs 'Don't do Sadness/Blue wind', and 'And Then There Were None'.
> 
> Disclaimer: Some of the dialogue in this fic is taken directly from these two songs, so I'm just gonna say now that I don't own these songs or the play, and if i did it would have super shitty music. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy.

_Or maybe, cool to be a little summer wind,_

_Like once through everything, and then away again._

_With the taste of dust in your mouth all day_

_but no need to know,_

_like sadness,_

_you just sail away…_

-Don’t Do Sadness/Blue Wind, Spring Awakening

 

It seemed as if time would forever stand still as Chanyeol sat beneath a purple sky. With the subtle passing of both spring and summer, autumn had crept upon the city, leaving an almost haunting chill in the air that Chanyeol hardly noticed through his despair. An invisible weight sat heavily upon his chest, though he could not figure out what it was, or why it was there. He silently reminisced the last few months, and briefly wondered how many, if any, of his friends might miss him once he was gone. He knew his parents wouldn’t care. Or at least his father wouldn’t. He’d already made it clear that he no longer cared about his failure of a son.

It still hit him as a shock. How could his own parents, his own father, disown him. His father had warned him, but Chanyeol hadn’t wanted to believe he’d actually go through with it. But now he was faced with the realization that he was not going to pass the semester. And to think it was all because of the teacher’s stupid rule about only passing a certain percentage of students in his class. He should have tried harder. He should have paid more attention, asked more questions. He shouldn’t have failed his class and lost his scholarship. He shouldn’t have flunked out of college. If only he could have received just one point higher on that last test. Then he would have received that last passing spot. Then he wouldn’t have to take such desperate measures. But it was too late now, and he’d already made his decision.

With his last ditch effort to escape foiled, he’d finally faced the reality that there was nothing else. Now there was only one thing he could do. Carefully he examined the cool metal of the weapon he had concealed in his coat pocket. The gun was old, and had been passed down from his grandfather to his father. Maybe, one day, the gun might have belonged to Chanyeol, but he knew that time would never come now, and instead stole it from the safe his father had thought was cleverly hidden. He traced the trigger with his thumb before focusing instead on the safety. Suddenly he heard the crack of a branch under foot, and quickly stuffed his firearm back into his coat. From his spot beneath the park’s tallest Oak, he watched as his best friend, Byun Baekyun, appeared from the shadows.

“Chanyeol?” He heard him utter in confusion. “How long have you been here? I’ve been looking for you for hours.”

Chanyeol silently noticed that Baekyun was shivering, and instantly felt guilty. How could he have forgotten about Baekyun? If he was gone, what would happen to his best friend? Of course he would care. In fact, he’d probably be the only person that cared. Met with a sudden bought of guilt, Chanyeol went to apologize before he was cut off.

“My mom told me you talked to her. She said you asked her for money to buy a plane ticket, or something?” Baekyun stated in confusion. Shame began to course through Chanyeol as he was reminded of his failed escape plan to run away to someplace better. “ She said you were upset…Your mom’s been really worried about you.”

At this, Chanyeol closed off. He had almost forgotten that his best friend had abandoned him, due to his sudden interest in his studies. The two hadn’t spoken in weeks, and if not for his sudden appearance, Chanyeol probably wouldn’t have thought about him at all. Turning away from his friend, Chanyeol let out a tired sigh.

“it’s late, you should go home Baek.” He said tiredly.

“What about you? Why are you out so late? Where have you been all day?”

His reply is met with is a halfhearted shrug, and Baekyun to sighs to himself in frustration.

“You should go home,” he said, “your mom’s probably worried.”

“I CAN’T!” Chanyeol shouted in anger, startling Baekyun with his sudden outburst. He stutters out a breath, before continuing in a softer tone. “I can’t. T-that’s not, They’re not my home. Not anymore” he says before huffing out a laugh. “ Not that they were before.” He finishes quietly. He turns and meets eyes with the other boy. He takes notice of the calculating look that reflects back at him, and begins to panic. Baek was the smartest person he knew. Had he ever tried, he’d have been the top student in their class. Chanyeol knew that it was only a matter of time before he figured out what was going on. Quickly he turns away from his friend and runs a hand through his messy hair.

“A-actually, maybe I should go.” he mumbles as he begins to walk away. ‘Great’ he thought to himself, ‘now I have to find somewhere else.

“CHANYEOL, WAIT!” he hears before he feels his arm grabbed in Baekyun’s vice-like grip. This time when he looks to the shorter boy, he notices that he looks paler. And the look in his eyes was fearful and pleading. As though he had seen something that had scared him immensely.

“Walk me home.” The shorter boy said. “Please just… walk me home first okay? Or… or you can even stay over, you know…you know my mother won’t mind, she absolutely loves you.”

Chanyeol pauses in thought. Maybe he should go with him. He quickly rids himself of the thought as soon as it appears. Sure, maybe he could stay with the Byun’s for a day or two, but what then. He refused to be a burden to anyone else. He knew what he had to do. And he knew that if he went with his friend he would never go through with it.

“I’m sorry,” he said pulling away. “I wish I could.” He said sadly.

“T-then…w-why don’t you?” Baekyun replied shakily.

“I have some stuff to do…work to make up, I’ll probably be busy the rest of the night.” He lies.

“Then I’ll come with you,” the shorter suggests.

“You can’t,” Chanyeol replies, “you know how your mother gets.”

The shorter boy takes in a stuttered breath before smiling shakily. “Alright then…I guess I’ll see you some other time then?” The boy says with hope he himself knows is false. Chanyeol smiles sadly at him and the shorter boy falters before starting on his way home alone. He barely makes it past the Oak tree before he, without turning around, calls out to chanyeol a final time.

“Chanyeol, why were you really out here tonight?” he asks softly.

Chanyeol merely sighs. “Good night Baekyun.” He calls back to the other boy. He watches the boy pause, before he continues on his way. The weight on his chest mysteriously gone.

He doesn’t hear the quiet “Good bye Chanyeol,” that the boy whispers tearfully as he disappears.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave comments, or kudos. Also, please feel free to correct my grammar or any typos, because believe me, when I say It is 3am, I am honestly not even joking, and there is no way that I'm about to read this to look for mistakes right now.


End file.
